How to be American:
Student Media Board
- Always remember to zip your costume up completely. No dark skin should be visible
- If anyone asks, English is your first and only language.
- Don’t dress “culturally”.
- Only listen to country music.
- Passive-aggressively insult anyone that doesn’t look white. Be careful not to be too direct or else they’ll notice.
- Make white friends. This is a must.
- Only eat American food (hot dogs, fries, pizza, etc).
- Insert yourself into any political conversation, even if you know nothing about politics—they’ll probably believe you if you take it very seriously.
- Blame the government for everything.
- Complain about wanting change, but never actually do anything about it.